Thursday, May 15, 2008

I Love Trashan

This took a long time coming, but finally I have to admit it – I liked Tashan. Ironically, I had gone to the movie the day after its release with the specific purpose of getting sufficiently outraged so that I could write a review trashing the movie before most of the other bloggers did. I had, in fact, thought up some really funny (or so I thought) one liners to sum up the movie review like '100 Rupees fine and 3 hours imprisonment' and 'Trash-an' while the innumerable Yash Raj Films trailers kept coming up on screen one after the other. Unfortunately, I left the theatre with ambivalent feelings – I so badly wanted to hate the movie, but you cannot manufacture hate, can you?

Now that Tashan hunting season is over, I can safely come out of hiding and admit the embarrassing truth. I'm hoping that not many people would think I'm a pshycho for enjoying Tashan. Yes, I read all those scathing reviews of Tashan. Yes, I was fully aware that I was watching a bad movie while the sordid action-comedy-lovetriangle was being played out. When the interval started shortly after the 'Chaliya' song, I looked over to Dino who I had dragged along with me and ventured to say something that approximately meant, 'Not a bad watch, eh mate?' He glared at me for a full 5 seconds in reply – a look that contained signs of bitter resentment for a wasted Sunday afternoon. I realized then that I was alone in this world when it came to this movie.

In the 2 weeks or so that I had at my disposal to figure out reasons for my aberrant response to the movie, I could come up with only one reason – obsession with the heroine leading to distraction from the movie. It has happened to me before, especially with a movie called 'Hum Aapke Hai Kaun' (I'm sure you've heard of it...if you've not, just google for the worst Bollywood movie in the 90's. It's bound to be in the top 10 results). I sometimes obsess about the leading ladies in the movies to such an extent that the movie stops existing beyond the heroine. I was so fascinated by Madhuri Dixit while watching HAHK that I forgot about the movie altogether. Some 7 hours later when the movie got over, I was reluctant to leave the theatre. My watching 'Aja Nachle' even after being warned hundreds of times (Naaja bachle, they said) was proof that my heart still goes dhak-dhak for her. Chitragandha Singh in 'Hazaron Khwaishen Aisi' and Manisha Lamba in 'Yahan' were more recent example. Both these movies, however, were very good although I had to watch these more than a couple of times before I could stop concentrating on the ladies. Last night, I happened to catch a movie with Chitragandha (god, she's so beautiful!) on some Hindi movie channel. I watched the movie for a full hour, but I never found out what the name of the movie was – you see what I'm trying to say?

But Kareena Kapoor was different. I hated her the first time I saw her in her crappy debut with Abhishek Bachhan. The second time I saw her (in Ashoka), that feeling was reinforced. As a friend remarked then, she had bigger biceps than SRK. It was while I was watching 'Jab We Met' a few months back that my 'feelings' towards her started changing. By the end of the movie, I was head-over-heels in love with her. As soon as the DVD of JWM was released I went and bought one. To put this action in perspective, this is the only DVD of a movie that I've ever bought in my life.

Although Kareena looked prettier before she got the size-0 looks, I'm sure she wouldn't have cavorted in a bikini for a full 3 minutes if she wasn't size-0. That was a feast for the eyes. Dino said that the second half of the movie (the part of the movie I like to call the post-Chaliya part) was rife with bad action sequences and worse jokes than the first half. I didn't notice any of this – I was trying to figure out whether she had gone from a C cup-size to a B in her efforts to achieve size-0. When I voiced this concern about the B-rating of Kareena to my friends they reassured me that no such thing had happened and that I was being paranoid. So Kareena is not yet B-grade in my books, but I'll feel a lot better if she would abandon her efforts to look like a pile of bones and try to eating something. She may have had bigger biceps than SRK once, but that doesn't mean she needs to get tighter 6-pack abs than SRK now.

Coming back to the movie...er...what was its name - the one in which Kareena goes around killing the baddies with shotguns and prances around in a two-piece? Tashan? Well, whatever. I liked that one - phull paisa vasool.

18 comments:

Mathew said...

The only other movie Chitrangadha has done so far is one called Kal, methinks. Totally agree with you on Chitrangadha and Minisha Lamba. And in my case you can add Ileana, Amy Adams and Zooey Deschanel also to that list. But Kareena? Chi! Or should I say "Poo"?!

silverine said...

Sigh...we gals hardly have anyone to get zoned out on in Bollywood, though I must confess that we too
watch Hollywood films for the hunks! :p Reviews don't affect me because I have my own taste in movies. I hated Kalyana Raman even though it got rave reviews. I thought the plot was stale and the jokes staler! On the other hand another Dileepan move, I forget the name that was a minor hit had exquisite humor dialogs and was phull paisa vasool! Sometimes I wonder why reviewers review?

Philip said...

mathew: I know, Kareena is not classic obsession material. But some movies do make its heroines look good. And JWM was one of them.

silverine: If you read a rave review of Kalyanaraman somewhere, I think it's time to switch over to better reviewers ;)

I'm not influenced by reviews in the sense that I don't change my opinion of a movie to suit those expressed in a review. But I've a list of reviewers whose taste more or less matches my own. So most of the times, I can save myself from the torture by reading the reviews. Besides, most of these critical reviews are well-written with generous doses of sarcasm which I love.

To answer your (rhetorical) question, I guess reviewers review because ppl like me find it useful...and if it's not useful, at least it's an entertaining read.

Karthik said...

I heard the multiplexes were not screening Tashan in the beginning due to some disputes.

Guess Yash Raj films are not having the best time.

silverine said...

err the pat in the back for Kalyanaraman was from Sidin in one of his posts! :|

Malayalam movie reviews are rare to come by here in Blr.

Philip said...

karthik: I hope YRF goes bust soon. Most of the movies they make are crap. The good movies will always find producers to finance it.

silverine: Touche!
I hope you are not bluffing though...lol.

Anonymous said...

http://www.whatay.com/2004/09/

Anjali

(too lazy to sign in)

g-man said...

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh! who are all these people?!?!?!?

p.s. i'm the same way with salma hayek and kate beckinsale...

drool

Anonymous said...

@silverine and philip: "athey, njan thenga odacheppolE, oru piece vellathil poyathaa"... this one sentence from salim kumar in kalyanaramn was full paisa vasool for me.

Philip said...

anjali: Ok, you're not bluffing :) Either you have an amazing memory or you have some blog management system which keeps track of posts done 4 years back. Either way, it's phenomenal.

g-man: Salma Hayek...the finest specimen of female beauty alive today :))

anon: Before this turns into a debate on the merits of Kalyanaraman, let me clarify:

1. Kalyanaraman was extremely funny in parts. Some of the jokes were stale, though.

2. It was full paisa vasool for me too, the way Tashan was paisa vasool.

3. It was not a good movie. There is nothing other than the funny lines in the movie. For some people that may be enough, but I have greater expectations from a film.

mathew said...

sadly no access to the new hindi movies...I ll have to wait for dubbed german versions..;-P

I think about movies, it is better that we oursleves be the reviewer..There are several popular movies which I personally didnt like..and other way around too..there was one suresh gopi flick in double role(forgot the name) which I loved..but failure in box office...

mathew said...

@ mathew

The movie you are talking about is Randam Bhavam. I've heard good things about that movie but haven't been able to watch it.

Philip said...

mathew (wetspark): Like mathew (van kalip) says, I think it is Randam Bhavam that you are referring to. RB had very good reviews, in fact. I've seen RB and I liked it too (one of the few Lal Jose films I've liked).

Agree with you that the best person to judge a movie is the person himself. It's just that I'd like to know whether a movie is worth 150 rupees and 4 hours of my time before I decide to see it. I'm not talking about taking the opinion of every Thomman and Varkey - just a few reviewers who I know I can depend on for a balanced review.

g-man said...

amen to that...

Thomas said...

Some movies are "so bad that it's good" and become an entertaining "comedy of errors". Is that why you liked Tashan? Hehe.

Thomas said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Thomas said...

Oh wait, you liked Tashan coz of Kareena!! How could you? She looks like a pencil stick in that!

Philip said...

thomas: Like you said, some movies are so bad that you simply have to watch them. But Tashan wasn't so bad.

I prefer Kareena with the healthier look that she used to have - but once you fall in love with someone, you are blind to all their faults ;)